Having adult children isn’t for the faint at heart. It’s for the brave parents. The successful ones are the ones that taught their kids to grow up and be independent and to serve the Lord…even though allowing independence is hard and many mistakes on both parts take place. One thing I will stand on for my adult children is found in God’s Word when it says NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST THEM SHALL PROSPER….IN JESUS NAME.
JEREMIAH 54:17
I pray this over them daily.
The devil will form many weapons to use against your child….but he will fail because they won’t prosper! The enemy runs from the prayers of a momma. They’re THAT powerful!!!
I’m the mom….
So I’m speaking from a moms point of view…since that’s what I am but this certainly isn’t meant to disclude fathers. Fathers are EXTREMELY important in all aspects of a child’s life…including their adult life and I love to hear the mans point of view… I just can’t write it.
Moms are emotional and we deal with… well… a lot of emotions! When raising a child…the emotion most visited emotion is…regret.
Moms…Stop with all the regrets!!!!
Make this your last time of beating yourself up for all the “should haves.”
All the mistakes in disciplining them. Were you too hard? Too easy? Were you fair between the kids? Did you yell when you shouldn’t have?
Remind yourself that God was with you even on those days with constant love and patience and even a rod of correction for both you and your child.
God does all things well.
MARK 7:37
He takes nothing and makes it something great!
He takes those mistakes and makes them something wonderful.
So begin realizing and giving yourself credit for the “did do’s”…. all the good things you did do and know that God was there with you each time. Each time you rocked your baby. Each time you nursed a sick child back to health. Each time you held their hand or wiped their nose. Each and every time you taught your small child a new task. Each time you taught them to ride a bike or later how to drive. Each broken heart they went through. Each activity they did. Their school accomplishments… their life or career accomplishments….
and be proud that you… MOM… were ALWAYS then and ALWAYS will be your child’s biggest cheerleader!
I know I know… as parents we wanna be perfect, but let’s face it… there will never be a perfect parent. Also realize that God made each child with their own distinct personality. I have four kids and not one of my four are the same. They have similarities but they’re different in all things.
Our children were not perfect growing up… well mine came close… LOL I’m totally kidding. They won’t be perfect when they’re grown and they won’t be perfect when they’re raising their children either. They’ll learn from some of our mistakes and then they’ll make their own different mistakes.
Sometimes they might even spend a time in sin… wandering in a wilderness trying to find their own way. This is when things will get real between them and God…. maybe this is even when things get real between you and God.
The relationship between them and the Lord is strictly that…. between them. They have to choose to want to live godly.
I praise God that He’s a God that forgives and gives us second and third and fourth….. chances.
Growing not only us but our children with each of the trials.
I tell my kids all the time that the only thing I ever did perfectly was love them. My oh my how how that love is so deep and so unconditional!!!
Moms and dads of adult children know that the adult child’s decisions are their own. Don’t accept their sin but pray them through it. Whether it’s a hidden sin that only you recognize as their parent because you can “read your child like an open book” when they are struggling with something internally. Remind them often that you are there for them any time they need you. The time will come when they’ll finally open up and tell you what you already knew….but now it’ll be an opportunity to offer advice. DON’T get offended if they don’t take your advice. 😉
Hopefully you’ve prayed about the given advice but their choice to accept or not accept is their own.
They are learning their way just like we had to do.
Let them know you’re praying for them. There is nothing more important than the prayers of a parent…. no matter how old the child is.
Don’t get me wrong… I don’t have this whole “having adult children” thing down either. I’m learning as I go.
I not only tell my kids that I’ve loved them perfectly but I also let them know often that as long as I have breath in my body it will be used in prayer for them and their families.
The last reminder… our family is the only thing we can take to heaven with us when we go… so stop living with regret and start living to lead them towards Christ. Loving them with a perfect love. Let them know there’s nothing they can ever do that you won’t welcome them home with open arms. Forgiveness is what God Excepts from us. After all… that’s why He gave His life… and chose to forgive us. All we have to do is ask.
Remember that God has begun a good work in your child’s life and He will certainly carry it on into full completion until the day of Christ.
PHILIPPIANS 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: (KJV)
Unfortunately sometimes the adult child will throw those faults up at you. When this happens it hurts! NOBODY likes to be shown their faults. When this happens then first search your heart and see where it stands with the Lord. Don’t be afraid to admit your faults to your children. They usually already know them. At the same time… don’t allow them to keep throwing the same accusations at you. This is where I’m sure it’s hard and you have to learn to forgive yourself. Sometimes it’s the child’s hang up and they don’t want to let go. They’re full of anger or bitterness. Love them… and pray them through it. Even though their anger and bitterness might be justified… they’re still called to honor you….the parent.
Seek to make things right with your child. Ask forgiveness and show genuine repentance. They’ll know if you’re sincere or not.
Now you’ve put the ball back in their court.
Forgetting what was behind… and pressing on towards the goal…. the prize…. the eternal life… with your family in heaven with Jesus.
PHILIPPIANS 3:13-14
Remember that God does not desire a life of bondage for you or your child. Choose to remember the good things you did.
Now…go hug your child if they’re near. If they’re not then call or text them to let them know that they are on your mind….you love them… and you’re praying for them.
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