FORGIVENESS

How to forgive someone has been a question that’s come up several times in the past several weeks.   It’s come up either in my presence of someone else having a conversation around me or with someone asking me how they are able to forgive the person that’s hurt them.   

Forgiveness is not easy but it is required by God.   Not because we reach heaven by works but because we must display Christ at all times.    We should want to display Christlike behavior and attitudes and it should never be a have to case. 

Forgiveness doesn’t minimize the hurt someone caused you but forgiveness does prevent bitterness from setting up in your heart and it allows you to be free and will ultimately allow you to be closer to the Lord.     

There are verses in the Bible that talk about how the Lord is able to forgive us because we have forgiven others.   

Matthew 6:14  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (KJV)

Ephesians 4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (KJV)

Have you ever heard the expression “YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY” 

Sometimes forgiveness is not even about forgiving someone else but it’s about forgiving ourselves.    

Say what????? FORGIVING OURSELVES????    Yep you heard me correctly.     Sometimes it’s about forgiving ourselves.    
forgiving ourselves or even others doesn’t mean that you forget the offense. It simply means that you choose not to bring it up again in a negative sense so that you can move forward with God.

Most of the times strongholds in our life have been allowed to set up and can’t be removed because of the unforgiveness we hold in our heart against ourselves.   

I learned from my daughter when she spoke at a Women’s Conference last year about forgiveness and what Mayo Clinic had to say about it.   Did you know that Mayo Clinic talks about the health benefits of forgiveness?

Here’s what Mayo Clinic says the benefits are:

• Healthier relationships
• Improved mental health
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• A stronger immune system
• Improved heart health
• Improved self-esteem

While here’s the health risks that Mayo Clinic says about unforgiveness:

• Bring anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience
• Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can’t enjoy the present
• Become depressed or anxious
• Feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you’re at odds with your spiritual beliefs
• Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

When we choose to hang on to unforgiveness then we allow resentment, anger and bitterness to set up.    It begins to consume our mind and then our actions.    We find ourselves dwelling on the issue… when sometimes the real issue is deep inside of us…in our own hearts.   When we choose to forgive then we release ourselves from allowing these negative emotions from taking us captive and we grow in grace instead and that allows us to move forward.     

How do you move forward?   

First it always takes a humble heart.   It takes a humble heart to remember that we were once in a place of needing forgiveness too and praise God that He didn’t hold a life long grudge against us but He willingly and lovingly accepted us as His child when we called out in true repentance.    When we humble our hearts to remember this time then it’ll make it easier to remember that the person who hurt you deserves forgiveness too.    We are called to take on the characteristics of Christ….and that means to forgive like He does.   

To love someone like Christ does takes Grace. 

Loving others like Christ does means loving beyond our own ability and relying on Christ’s.    It means we must be full of Jesus so that His love can overflow.    

He tells us in His Word to love our enemies.   

Uhhh that’s hard.  Who wants to love their enemy?

Matthew 5:44  But I say unto you, LOVE  your enemies…. (KJV)

Jesus instructs us to walk that extra mile.    EXTRA MILE… for our enemies??!!

Yep.   It’s not my word… it’s Gods.   

Matthew 5:41  And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. (KJV)

And He tells us to turn the other cheek.  

Matthew 5:39  But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. (KJV)

We are called to forgive seventy times seven …. this means continuous forgiveness.   We won’t be able to keep track of seventy times… much less seventy times seven…. it means our forgiveness is boundless.   

Matthew 18:22  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. (KJV)

Then He also tells us to pray for our enemy.    

Pray?   God, you want me to pray for…my enemy?!   

Matthew 5:44 …… bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and PRAY for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; (KJV)

   To pray for our enemy (the one who hurt you) takes a display of mercy that only God can give to us.    

The simple honest truth is… we can’t do any of this of our own power but we can do it through the power of God’s Spirit. 

We don’t pray and ask God to do bad things to our enemies or ask him to punish them so we don’t have to.    We pray and ask God to bless them.   The more we pray for them… then the more the blessings fall on us.    The more we pray the more our heart heals and true earnest forgiveness takes place and we are released from the hold that unforgiveness kept us bound in.    

Remember as Jesus hung on the cross dying for OUR sins how he prayed?

He asked His Father to forgive the ones that brutally beat, spit on, and crucified Him because they didn’t understand what they were really doing.    

Luke 23:34  Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do…. (KJV)

Usually when a person needs forgiving….they’ve reacted because of a former painful situation in their own life and they too need the same love of Christ that you are seeking.   

Always always pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to move on the person you’re praying for and first seek Salvation for that person if they don’t already know Him personally and if they do then ask the Holy Spirit to go to them and deal with their heart.   

Romans 10:1  Brethren, my heart’s desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved. (KJV)

You know that you’ve reached a point of true forgiveness when you can hear their name or see them in person without immediately having negative thoughts towards them or feeling yourself tensing up, but you can greet them with a smile that demonstrates Gods Grace.  
our entire life is full of choices. Holding onto unforgiveness is absolutely exhausting! So at the end of each day it’s so much easier and healthier to know that you have forgiveness for another person so that you can rest peaceful each night.

When you let go of unforgiveness then it unleashes blessings to flow abundantly on your life.   Then you can sit back and let your cup run over.